Got a toothbrush?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
why is half of my head shaved?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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