Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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