just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We need to get me chipped asap
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
