Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
