something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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