naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
