Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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