Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
