I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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