We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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