Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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