On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
