are you still at the devil's house?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
