I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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