There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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