I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
