I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
