I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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