Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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