I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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