If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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