She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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