Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
