I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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