She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
