I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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