I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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