The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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