do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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