The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you never un-have a 4some
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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