well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
