think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Randomize
