i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
