Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
