if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
