Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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