Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
