I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
