my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
there is glitter all over my balls
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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