We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
