You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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