Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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