Your mouth is God's brothel.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
