oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize