I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize