this boner is exhausting
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
