four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
