No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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