3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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