the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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