i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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