Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
