In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
