just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
