i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
