Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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