Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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