I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
