I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize