8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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