Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
