Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
God I need to hump something, right now.
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