I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
