Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
