Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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