Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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