my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
