Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
try to milk me bitch
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