I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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