did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
