Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
