i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
