i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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