i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
