my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize