do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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