kristin has been a bad kristin
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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