that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at templeÂ
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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